So, Where Did That Really Come From?

For this post, I've decided to take a look at the origins to a few popular American sayings. You know the sayings that people say at a certain time, but really don't know what the true meaning is or where in the world it came from. So many of them really don't make sense when you sit down and think about them (or think about them standing up or laying down for that matter). But, for your luck, i happen to have an extensive knowledge of the origins of American sayings. You may wonder "Where did you pick up an extensive knowledge of the origins of American sayings?". A good question and one that requires a response. My response is this; there are just some things that you pick up in life as you go through the journey. This newly acquired knowledge of mine is something that I have picked up along the way. So, I guess you're just going to have to take my word for it. And since I know that I am well known for my honesty, I'll just assume that you have placed complete trust in me! Now, on to those sayings...

"Keep your eyes peeled"

This saying implies that you pay attention to what is happening around you or being on the lookout for something in particular. Fair enough. If you take the term literally, it turns rather gruesome pretty fast. Nobody wants to think about peeling eyes (although i just made you think about it!). But the origin of the term really has nothing to do with peeled eyes in that sense. It came about thanks to the American explorer Frederick Johnston who discovered a native tribe deep in the Amazon jungle of Brazil. The people there had long since discovered the harmful nature of UV rays from the sun, and had taken precautions to prevent the various forms of skin cancer. Their preventative measures included wrapping your head in a bananna leaf to protect it from the sun. But the problem being unable to see through a bananna leaf. This made it extremely difficult to not only hunt and avoid leopards, but to function on a daily basis. So one day one of the elders of the tribe decided to peel the leaf from infront of the eyes, which gained great popularity. The saying became popular amongst the natives and was roughly translated by Frederick Johnston to the modern "keep your eyes peeled" that we are used to today!

"The cat's out of the bag"

I gotta admit, I'm not really sure of the origins of this saying, but when you think about the literal meaning, it just doesn't make sense. Who puts a cat in a bag? Have you ever tried to put a cat in a bag? It's not happening. Maybe it was trendy at some point to carry a cat in a bag. So i wonder if they ever sold pre-bagged cats. Maybe that's why it was such a big deal when the cat got out of the bag. The last thing you want are wild bag-less cats running around your neighborhood, terrorizing the church mice. And how it got to mean "the secret's out" i have no idea.

Edit: So i just found out why the cat getting out of the bag was such a big deal. Before the use of carrier pigeons, it was believed that cats made excellent message carrying animals. A message would be tied to a cat and then both placed in a bag to be carried to a certain destination. If anyone tried to place their hand in the bag to read the message, the cat would claw or bite them in protection of the message. Or, if the bag was opened, the cat would bolt out and simply vanish into the streets or get eaten by a coyote in the country. So the term "the cat's out of the bag" referred to a certain message escaping it's inherent secrecy with the risk of it coming into light. So there you go. No wonder they went to pigeons. This was a terrible idea...

"It's raining cats and dogs"

In the small Icelandic village of Reykjavik during the 14th century, it was quite popular to get a weather forecast of "cloudy with a chance of cats". It often rained cats at this time, yet the population was kept in check as many of the cats would chase the lemmings off the cliff into the seas below. On occasion, they would get stuck in trees or in the thatch roofs of the village huts, but for the most part, the cats weren't an issue. Then one day, a vagabond roamed into the village. He was treated poorly and was cast out. As he was leaving, he cast a spell on the village and it's inhabitants that "may the polar opposites fall from the sky!" No one had any idea what this guy was talking about...until it started to rain. Much to the peoples surprise, not only did it start raining cats, it started raining cats AND dogs! This phenomena not only created an uncontrollable dog population, it vaulted Reykjavik to the position of capital of Iceland, which it still holds this day. Although global warming has negated the pattern of raining cats and dogs, the legend still lives on in Icelandic lore.


Note: This post is only partially finished, so be sure to check back in a week when it is all said and done!

Don't Mess With Texas...

Have you ever wondered why Texas is the only state that has a slogan that implies hostitlity? I have often wondered why no other state has jumped on that bandwagon. I think I can understand where the attitude that Texans have comes from. They truly believe that Texas is Gods' gift to humanity, and it should not be messed with. (A slight exaggeration might exist in the previous statement, but I'm rather confident it's accurate). But they are all alone in the spotlight and hogging all the attention that comes with hostile slogans. As we know, if you can draw attention to yourself, it's much easier to be successful in certain things. I believe the addage "All press is good press" supports my point. So in an effort to draw attention to some of the other oft forgotten states, I have taken the task upon myself to create hostility driven slogans in order to boost their exposure to society. The following is a list with a short explanation on why it just works:

"Don't Front New Hampshire"
It's about time that New Hampshirens take pride in their state and stand up for themselves! This one is trendy and can catch on quickly.

"Yo, Step Off Vermont, Son!"
Nothing makes a quaint skiing experience better than a little hostility on the mountain. Especially when you're sitting on the chairlift next to a Texan...

"Get Up Out The Grill of South Dakota!"
Bam! This one just hits you in the mouth! Plus there is no satifactory rebuttle to a statement of this nature. It just can't be done.

"Wy-You Staring At Me-oming"
Of course, when someone tells you not to look at something, the first thing you do is look to see what it is. I think the concept will do wonders for the state!

"Move Out The Way of The MaineTrain!"
With this one, I see a an old steam locomotive representing Maine barreling down the tracks. You better get out the way or you're gonna get run over. I really like the inherent aggressive nature of Maine, and I feel the MaineTrain is a good representation of said aggressiveness.

So there you go. Just a few ideas to chew on. Would I be surprised if each respected state used my ideas to boost their profile? Not in the least bit. Of course, I'd probably be willing to work out a deal in which both parties are satisfied, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. For now, I'll just wait for the shift of power from Texas to the historically forgotten states. The MaineTrain is coming down the tracks, and nothing can stop it!

Unknown Groundhogs Day Headlines

It's simply amazing to me the kind of connections you make with people as you go through out life. You meet people from obscure places, people that you may not become good friends with, but still you like them enough to tell people you know them when something happens in the town that they are from. Well, I had a couple of those acquaintances drop me a couple headlines in their local newspapers the other day. Now, these are stories that most of the world has never heard about. But to a couple of small communities, these headlines are the talk of the town!




" @punxphil 6 more weeks of winter!! lol!"



This headline actually came out of Punxsutawney, PA, the home of the annual Groundhogs Day Celebration. One of my roomates at school was from Punxsutawney, and his name was Bill. He was the son of Punxsutawney Phil and his wife Jill. Anyways, apparently the tradition of the groundhog coming out of his hole and seeing his shadow has been marred by controversy within the town recently. The Groundhog apparently got an iPhone for Christmas 2 years ago and they set up a twitter account for him. So now instead of actually coming out of his hole, he just tweets the updates. They ran the actual tweet that the Groundhog posted as the headline in the town's paper. It appears that the Groundhog already knows the weather pattern and apparently doesn't need to come out of his hole to see his shadow. The article also mentioned that researchers at Penn State University are looking for ways to use groundhogs for daily weather forecasting.

This next headline came out of a small village in southern Argentina. I once hit an exchange student from this small village as he was walking across a cross walk at night This is what we talked about as i drove him to the Emergency Room. He emailed me the article and the headline read like this: "Muchos Frios Se Dices Felipe". Now, for those of you who don't speak Spanish or really do speak Spanish, i believe the translation sounds something along these lines: "Much Cold Says Phillip", an obvious reference to the additional 6 more weeks of winter. It has been said that the village of Puxatonia in Argentina has a very similar longstanding tradition to the Groundhogs Day here in the US. Felipe, pulls out a mole and if the mole sees his shadow, then it is a short winter and spring will soon arrive. But there is a catch; the mole that they use is a blind mole. Now, i know what you are thinking; "A blind mole can't see his shadow". I thought the same thing at first. (I then quickly thought if they could do laser surgery on the moles's eyes, or now how they hook up the video cameras to your brain so you can see, but i determined that they probably wouldn't be too excited to invest these amounts of money into a mole when you could probably trap a new one in a garbage can or someplace). But i soon found out the reasoning for this; the town is so far south that they have really long winters anyways. Once he got some anasthesia in him at the hospital, he came clean and told me that the whole scam came about in the 1970's as a way to try to increase tourism. They really must have liked what the event has done to Punxsutawney, PA.

I found one more item to note, although it isn't an actual article. I was reading the police blotter and found that officers were called to a bar in northern West Virginia. There was a complaint that a drunk groundhog had been in a dispute and had burrowed under the bar. When officers arrived, the disgruntled groundhog had previously been asked by the bartender to vacate the premises do to unruly behavior. As an act of defiance, the groundhog dug his way under the bar and later had to be retrieved by a Search and Rescue team. No charges have been filed at this time.

So as you can see, Groundhogs Day is a little more exciting than we often think it is. It may even be worthy of some significant attention, like say, acknowledging that we have an entire day set aside. Just think, if we have a whole day set aside for a groundhog, what would we have to set aside for an elephant?

Is "ish" really a word?

I've always been a fan of using "ish" on the end of some words. I think that it actually sounds kinda cool, yet edgy and hip. You know, it means that you have a guestimate on something, like time for instance. For example, (yes, I've decided to do a real life example for those of you who are not familiar with the term I am referring to) if I was going to meet you somewhere and you had called to ask me how long until i got there, i could reply "Oh, in about twenty-ish (also could be written 20-ish)". That would imply that i would be there in about 20 minutes. It might be a few more, it might be a few less. It can also be a good term that can denote location. For example, if you asked me where i parked the car in the parking lot, i could point in a direction and say "Over there-ish". You are now fully aware of the general location of the car, but you are not going to look in one specific location and get frustrated when you don't find it there. As you can see, I've italicized several of the words that i used to describe "ish". I hope that helps you get a feel for the true meaning of the term. It really is the perfect word for those who are not exact in life.

But like most words, i do believe that the phrase "ish" has it's place in society. It can be good for casual conversation, but i think that use of the word can get a little out of hand. Let's say that a guy is walking through the park with his girlfriend and he drops down on one knee, pulls out a ring and asks her "Will you marry me?" She's overcome with emotion, grabs her boyfriend, hugs him tight and replies "Yes...ish" What? How's that for a non-commital yes? Or how about you and your buddy are rock climbing. You're working your way up the cliff when all of the sudden you slip and your rope breaks. There you hang precariously on the edge of certain death. You yell out "HELP!" and your buddy reaches down and grabs your hand and says "Don't worry, I gotchya-ish". What? Don't worry because you "kinda" got me? What part of that statement is supposed to bring you comfort?

Or let's try one more example. You've basically had the worst day of your life; someone broke into your car, stole your ipod, told you that your dog died, and you got dumped by your special someone. Just as you get home, you walk in the front door and flip the lights on and then a couple of your friends jump out and yell "April Fools!...ish" Right when you hear the "April Fools!" you start to think that everything that had happened to you was a joke and that none of it was real. You start to think that you'll get everything back and things will go back to normal...but oh, that dreaded "ish". Now you're trying to figure out what part of what they said was a joke and what was real. You have anger, frustration and confusion all swirling inside your head while your friends stand around you and laugh. All of this = a bad time to use "ish".

So i ask each and every one of you, as you find new words to use and ways to use old words in new creative ways, or ways to add on parts to words to make new words, or ways to take two words and mash them together to make one superword, or ways to apply foreign languages to in your own speech, or whatever ways you like to use words, please be sensitive with their use. Am i making myself clear-ish?

So What's So Bad About Used-Car Salesmen?

Maybe it's just me, but it seems that used car salesmen are looked upon as some of the lowest forms of humanity in existence. I don't think that it's too far off to put them right below lawyers on the Least Liked List (from now on the Least Liked List will be referred to the 3L). Although that may be a little harsh, the common perception is that they are the ones who are always dealing crappy cars for premium prices. I'm sure that definitiely does happen, but i would like to bring an up an example of when the buyer stuck it to the seller.

In the movie Transformers, Sam goes with his dad to buy his first car. After a little bit of shopping, they decide to get an old beat-up yellow camaro. They pay a hefty price for a car in rough shape, but the car turned out to be much more than they could ever anticipate. Not only did that car have the ability to turn into a new Camaro (a value increase of about $35,000), it had the ability to transform into a giant war robot. Now, i'm not really up to date on the value of a Transformer, but let's just say $100 million. So who do you think got the short end of the stick on this one? Yep, chalk one up for the buyer!

But thinking about how successful car salesmen already are, just think about how successful they could be if they had a special power. What if there was one that could use Jedi mind tricks on a buyer? Right when he's trying to sell you a car that you are not even interested in or need, he does the little hand motion and says "This is the car you're looking for" and then you reply "This is the car i'm looking for" and then you buy the dang thing. Just be grateful that your used car salesman isn't a Jedi.

Although used-car salesmen rank relatively high on the 3L, i still think it could be much worse. i mean, some things aren't always as they seem. Maybe they're just grossly misunderstood. But anyhow, just remember that the next time that you buy a used car, you could be buying a Transformer. I don't know the odds of that happening, but i'll take my chances and buy a used car!

A Really Good Idea

In my never ending quest to come up with successful business ventures, i came up with an idea that could revolutionize the food industry. It seems all the rage to take cartoons, comics and video games that were once popular and to now make them into modern movies. They've had great success with Spiderman, Batman, Transformers, just to name a few. So i figured why not ride that train a little further and use that same concept in the restaurant industry? I mean, that's the American thing to do; take an idea and drive it into the ground well after it has crashed. In doing so, i came up with a few restaurant concepts that i would now like to introduce to you.

Concept 1: Let's say that you're really craving some good Italian, something better than the Olive Garden or Spaghetti Factory. You're looking for something special, something out of the ordinary. Something...super. Then go to Super Mario's Italian Cafe and Eatery! Just imagine all the waitors and waitresses dressed as Mario, Luigi and Peach. Then they bring out a mushroom and give it to your kids and tell them they must eat it if they want to grow bigger. Good potential with that one. And look at the sample employee uniforms. Just think how well you could pick up plates off the table with a plunger...

Concept 2: You wake up Saturday morning exhausted after a long week of work. You want to eat like a king, but you really don't want to go to all the trouble of preparing a royal meal. So you decide to head on down to the only place you feel more comfortable at than home. You're going to eat at The Griddler, where home-style breakfast is served all day long. Of course, you'd have to start out ordering by saying something like "Griddle me this..." I know what you're thinking; Denny's and IHOP already do this and they serve other food too. Well, Denny's isn't a cool name, so i'm pretty confident The Griddler would come out on top. Plus, I could create a character for "The Griddler" and make him an actual person that stands on the sidewalk in a "Griddler" costume waving at the cars driving by. "The Griddler" would be somebody. Who's Denny? And what about IHOP? It sounds like something a rabbit would say. The first thing i think about when i hear someone say "I'm going to IHOP" is asking them if they're going to a jump roping class. No competition there either.

Concept 3: Now let's say that you're really craving some good pizza, but it's only 3 in the afternoon and dinner isn't until 6. You don't want to get the baked pizza now, it will be cold by the time the fam is ready to devour it. Cold pizza= poor devouring conditions. But if you have it delivered, you have to tip the home-boy who dropped it off. Not cool. So what is one to do in this situation? Stop by a store that you can buy a fresh made pizza and take it home and cook it when you like. That's right, i'm talking about Papa Smurfy's Take it n' Bake it. How great would it be to buy a pizza from a beloved childrens character in a large red hat. It's just natural. And how amazing would it be to be able to buy a pizza with a blue crust? It would have every kid begging for more. What better way to get those picky eaters to eat something nutritious than to serve them blue pizza? I think Papa Smurf says it all with his "ta da!" stance. That is the image of success.

Is it risky to let these ideas out for the masses to see before i have the proper documentation giving me rights to profit off of others creative original concepts? Yes. But living on the edge adds a spice to life that i just can't get enough of. That's what made Mario the legend he is today. And that's what's gonna make me rich!

This One Was Long Overdue

So after my grand start to blogging, i quickly realized that i keep up with my posts about as well as i write in my journal; basically not at all. But all is well, as you need not fret. I am back to give you further insight into the experience i call my life (okay, i was really going for a seemingly witty, profound statement here, and i think i nailed it). I like to think of my vacancy as somewhat of a sabbatical. I don't really have anything in particular that i sabbaticalized, but just the thought of it helps me get through the day.

So i was thinking the other day trying to come up with the next hit gameshow that i could really cash in on, and i came up with one that i think has some really good potential among the Star Wars crowd. It's called "Smarter Than a Padawan, Are You?" and it would be hosted by Yoda himself. Now i just need to figure out who to contact to iron out the details...

I also must regrettably inform all of my avid blog followers that my previous post, "An Ode To Billy Mays" seems to have been somewhat premature. It has been reported that he had cocaine in his system when he died. He apparently was not a heavy user, but it must be why the "Awesome Auger" commercial was so good. So with this news, i lost a measure of respect for the man who i thought had risen above it all, but in the end, has decended 6 feet below us.